Weight Loss!

Hey guys! So as you may know from reading my tweets or watching my second channel videos, I am on a weight loss kick! Not only for prom but for myself to be healthy! When I started exercising I was doing a video everyday, but instead I think I will do a weekly video with how much I lost in the total week and how my week was.

I recently started on the Jenny Craig teen plan and so far I've lost a few pounds and I've only been on it since Tuesday! (today is friday) I thought on here I could post daily or try to post daily, exactly what I ate and how much exercise I did and then in the video do a full recap of the week!

Doing this little weight loss journal kind of thing is really important to me because my weight has been a HUGE part of who I am for most of my life and Im ready to shed the title of "Kristin? oh the FAT GIRL! to "Kristin The Makeup Artist, Or Kristin The Friendly Girl" .

I've tried and failed so much with my weight. I was picked on a lot as a little kid, not only by people at my school but by my family and I always felt that I was never good enough for anybody, because no one wanted to be seen with a fat girl. In elementary school I had no friends and I felt so bad about myself that I would eat to make myself feel better and the pounds kept coming on and I still had no friends. Chips and Donuts were my friends.

When my dad died I gained about 100 pounds throughout the year because I ate to sooth the fact that I no longer had a daddy. Before he died I was part of a weight loss group that was for old ladies (my grandma was a member) and I decided to go and my dad joined too and I lost some weight but they never told you how to loose the weight and after the meeting they would all go out and eat fast food. It was not a good place to be in and after my dad died I tried to go back but it just wasn't good and since my grandma was the biggest person to "make fun of me" I quit.

After I graduated from the 6th grade I moved to a new city and I went to a middle school for a year where I completely changed as a person. I wasn't the sweet little girl my mom told people, I was a goody goody around my friends but a rebel with my family. That year I went crazy and I ate a lot but I was getting picked on at school too and I got into a couple of fights and even got suspended for cursing out a p.e. teacher :/ These things Im not proud of but they've made me who I am today.

I left that school after a year and went to the middle school/high school Im at now. I was still a little rebel when I got there but I made some friends. After 8th grade graduation though I messed up big time and the "popular" girl I was friends with didn't like me anymore and in 9th grade she hated and made my life a living hell. BTW I was picked on for my weight then too.

In 9th grade I really felt alone and my family was going through a lot. I was seeing a therapist actually since the 7th grade and I stopped seeing her just before my 16th birthday but she didn't really help me to be honest. If your a good enough liar you can make a therapist think your done with therapy. Again not proud of it, it ended up hurting me in the long run. Anyway I felt so far away from my friends and they all seemed to be having a great time and I was always sad, I would cry everyday and I attempted suicide a few times but I just couldn't do it and I didn't know why. I wanted to die so bad but I failed even at that. I started cutting and I still have the scars to this day.

Why am I sharing so much intimate info with you guys? Because I want to remember where I came from when all my weight is lost. I want to see every step that I went through and hopefully help someone who may be going through a similar struggle.

Although others may not see it, I feel like I have a big heart, sometimes being alone can turn you cold and make you have a lot of hate which I do have hate we all do, I prefer to help people the way I was never helped.

Anyway 10th and 11th grade I tried to loose weight but it didn't work. Oh yea i forgot to mention in between 7th and 8th grade during the summer I went to a fat camp. It was basically fat kid highschool. Even amongst kids with the same struggles as you, there was still the "skinny fat girls" and it was awful! I lost 12 pounds in a whole summer and I gained it back and more when I went back to school.

So here I am now a senior in high school. Its second semester and I want to do this. Prom is less than 100 days away and Im working hard. Joining Jenny Craig was a huge step for me. And I actually am sick with a cold and I started my period all in the same week. I felt like the universe was telling me they want me to stay fat and they were giving me all these barriers so I would crack. But now that I think about it, it was my daddy and God testing me. Seeing if I would stay strong and keep to my diet and you know what. I DID!! It hasn't been easy, I will lay in bed at night with the pit of stomach yelling at me telling me it's hungry but I don't feed into it.

Since I've been sick I haven't been super hungry so I haven't been eating everything on my menu except the jenny craig foods just to get the protein in.

I did have a weak moment and I ate half a chocolate donut and I even cried that I did that. The day I ate it was just a super awful day and I had been crying all day and my mom said not to stress about it, that I would just do better the next day.

She has been my rock in this first week, helping me with everything I need. If it weren't for her I don't know what I would do. She's amazing! THANKS MOMMY!

So I hope this gives you a background on me and if there is anything else you want to know just ask! Im not quite comfortable sharing my weight right now but once my number gets decreased enough I will let you guys know!

So heres the schedule!

BLOG EVERYDAY with what I ate for the day and the exercise I did and how im feeling.

1 Video EVERY WEEK like maybe on a friday or sunday can't decide yet. And Maybe a food haul with what I got from jenny craig. This will probably start on monday and that's going to be my day for when I meet with my counselor and when I get my foods! Major milestones like 10 pounds will go on my main channel but the hauls and weekly updates will go on my second channel as well as any other weight loss stuff!

Hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!!

Love Kristin!!